Signs of an Unhealthy INFP Personality Type
Signs of an Unhealthy INFP Personality Type
What is the INFP personality type?
The INFP personality type, otherwise known as the Mediator, is among the rarest personality types, making up only 4% of the general population. Though they can come across as quiet and unassuming at first glance, the Mediator often lives a rich and exciting internal life, harboring fires of passion and creativity, and a deep sense of empathy.
Open-minded and imaginative, it’s not uncommon for the Mediator to live more within their own mind than in the real world. And when they’re not daydreaming, it’s not uncommon to find them pursuing passions in the arts.
Whether it be their career, a side project, or a hobby, the Mediator typically expresses their creativity through multiple mediums at once. Be that poetry or writing, music, painting, photography, or theater, the Mediator is drawn to anything and everything of the imagination.
The creative soul of the Mediator is also a gentle one; this personality type tends to be empathetic and compassionate to the core—arguably the most compassionate of all the 16 personality types.
They’re kind-hearted, loyal, and genuine-natured, and expect the same in return. Openness and depth are two qualities highly valued by the Mediator in relationships, both romantic and platonic. They’re also often highly sensitive people; they quickly pick up on the feelings of others but wear their own on their sleeves and can be easily hurt.
As much as they care for their loved ones, the Mediator is a highly introspective personality. Their observant and sensitive nature is very often directed inward, making for high levels of self-awareness and self-reflection. When these efforts are focused in a healthy direction, the Mediator becomes a powerhouse of self-improvement as they analyze each and every one of their thoughts, opinions, and behaviors.
However, when the Mediator can’t live up to their own incredibly high standards, they tend toward harsh self-criticism and self-imposed isolation.
An unhealthy Mediator
Every personality type has its strengths and weaknesses and is prone to its own issues that, if they get out of hand, can become unhealthy. Let’s look at the warning signs of an unhealthy INFP personality type.
Unrealistic
The vivid and extensive imagination of the Mediator is a wonder—but can also have its pitfalls. When Mediators spend too much time in their own daydreams, it can be hard for them to accept that the world isn’t perfect, or exactly how they envision it.
Mediators are often hopeless romantics with permanent rose-tinted glasses. And when reality inevitably falls short of their expectations, the disappointment can hit them harder than most of the other personality types, leaving them feeling lost and disillusioned.
Self-isolating
Deep and meaningful connection with others is extremely important in the life of a Mediator, but they also tend to be incredibly introverted. Especially in new and unfamiliar environments, they can find it difficult to put themselves out there and initiate those connections, leaving them feeling isolated and alone.
A Mediator in this position may then turn to self-isolation in order to protect their feelings, which is never a healthy outcome.
Unfocused
Mediators are passionate and creative souls, always pursuing hobbies and projects, and coming up with new ideas. Problems arise, however, when they struggle to focus on just a single task.
They’re always following new and more exciting trains of thought, which can be frustrating for them when they need to commit to a single course of action and be productive—which they can find incredibly difficult. If they don’t develop methods of managing their runaway minds, Mediators can get caught in a state of stagnation and disappointment in themselves.
Emotionally vulnerable
The compassion and empathy of the Mediator are two of their foremost strengths, though it can become unhealthy if they aren’t able to manage them. Because they’re so in tune with and open to the emotions of those around them, Mediators are in danger of absorbing and being incredibly affected by other peoples’ stress, sadness, anger, or other negative moods. It’s crucial that they establish and maintain boundaries, lest they become stressed and anxious themselves.
Desperate to please
Mediators thrive in an environment of harmony and acceptance, which means that they tend to be very conflict-avoidant and react negatively to external criticism. When faced with dislike or disapproval, a Mediator may become fixated on mending the situation and changing that person’s opinion of them—potentially to an unhealthy degree. This desire for approval from all those around them can drain their mental and emotional energy, and eclipse even their awareness of their own needs.
Self-critical
In addition to finding it difficult to receive feedback from others, Mediators are all too ready to criticize themselves. They often set incredibly high standards for themselves—unrealistic, even—that can’t be reached no matter how hard they try.
When they fail to live up to their own visions, they often inaccurately believe that this failure is down to their own inadequacy or ineptitude rather than goals that are too lofty. These feelings can lead to discouragement and self-doubt. If these feelings aren’t checked, the Mediator risks giving up on their most heartfelt ambitions.
The bottom line
The Mediator is a sensitive and imaginative soul with a heart of gold. An unhealthy path for them is often an internal one and can be righted by turning their habitual introspection in a more positive direction.
The Mediator should focus on keeping a realistic understanding of the world and leaving their daydreams firmly in the realm of fantasy. They must set emotional boundaries, both on those around them and on their own harsh self-talk. When forming connections with new people, they should remind themselves to have patience and confidence, and remind themselves that they won’t get along with everyone—and that’s okay. Finally, structure and organization can help the Mediator find the necessary focus and productivity that can so often elude them.
